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when our children were 20 and 17

Like Father
Direct Answers - Column for the week of July 5, 2004
I was married for 21 years to a man who enjoyed strip clubs, drinking, and his buddies. These things became important to him after we married, and part of his job as an undercover cop. He often brought home pictures of himself with strippers to show me.
Throughout our marriage I took care of our two children, the household, and worked full-time without a contribution from him beside his paycheck. I tried to talk to him because we never spent time together, he did not support me as a wife and mother, and I needed more from him as his wife.
Things did not improve,n which genuinely becomes all over the your butt. Frequently. They continued to deteriorate . Our marriage relationship ceased to exist,3352 Ugg Bailey Button Mini Black Boots. Months before I left him, I tried to talk one more time and told him, "If this is all there is, I don't want any more." All he said was, "Stop crying and come to bed."
Seven years ago, when our children were 20 and 17, I left him. I felt they were old enough now. They would better understand that we did not love each other and I stayed because of them. I was also tired of being verbally abused on a regular basis by my son.
My children could not understand my feelings. I was and still am seen as the villain for destroying their "family." Even though I was on my own at the time, my ex-husband told my children he caught me in bed with someone, which was very destructive of my relationship with my children. He also told them that my best friend and I were lesbians.
Neither story was true. To this day my son thinks I was unfaithful to his father and keeps inferring that is why I left and that his father had no fault in the divorce.
I eventually met a wonderful man, and we have been happily married for two years. I love him more than anything, and he loves and respects me like I've never been.
Rachael
Rachael, Harry Chapin's song "Cat's in the Cradle" is about a son who follows his father's not-very-good example. One day, after the father talks on the phone with his son, the older man has a realization. He says, "As I hung up the phone it occurred to me, he'd grown up just like me. Yeah, my boy was just like me."
So you stayed for the children, and you wound up with a son like your husband. All blanket rules have exceptions, and the exception to "stay for the sake of the children" occurs when the other parent's example is a detriment to the child.
As a police officer, your former husband knows better than to destroy a mother's image in the eyes of her children. His lies reveal everything about who he is as a person. Unfortunately, staying bolstered your ex-husband's assertions. How bad a husband could he be if you stayed so long? That's his argument.
Your son's perceptions have been twisted by his father. He may be trying to win his dad's praise by torturing you, or he may be manipulating you into trying to win his love. Or perhaps he is simply acting out of defensiveness,more allowing for you to connect in a new way. Often in dreams. He may think, if mom stayed with someone who abused her because of me, that makes me complicit. I'd rather believe dad's story.
When we do something we believe is wrong for the benefit of others, we cannot expect things to turn out well. A mother teaches a girl what kind of woman to be and what kind of wife to be. A father teaches a boy what kind of man to be and what kind of husband to be.

or consciously

Choices are amazing. We have to make so many every day! With every choice there is a consequence. With good choices we experience good or great consequences. With bad choices we experience bad or horrible consequences. We become attuned to these outcomes, or we don't.
I would encourage you to begin really thinking, examining the choices you make and why you make them. They form these amazing patterns in your life!
I have always taught my daughters this and used the dating scenarios with them,3352 Ugg Bailey Button Mini Black Boots. I felt that it was tremendously important for them to view the young men they were allowing into their young lives in total truth. (Think about viewing one in total truth, for that matter think about viewing yourself in total truth). I would remind the girls that certain behaviors, if they allowed them, or merely accepted them,and regular practice., that they were in the process of allowing certain types of behavior become acceptable. Letting them know that patterns were being formed in their young lives. Making them aware if they were living unconsciously (sleep walking through life), or consciously (awakening) in their relationships was HUGE! I never wanted them to be living their lives unconsciously!
So many of us can sleep walk through life allowing unbecoming behaviors to become a part of our lives! This therefore sets the patterns up and sets the stage of your life!
Think about the patterns you have in your life, what are you compromising on? What are you settling for? Why?
Raise your echelon of accepted wisdom! What kind of role model are you being for your children,While all of our experiences are unique, for your co-workers, your employees? What leadership role are you in? Where to you want to change? What is working for you? What isn't? How to you want to experience this life!?
The thing I love about life it that we can always choose! We can choose to break free of thoughts and behaviors that no longer serve the right purpose for us! We can allow ourselves to be transformed and awakened! We can recognize this life is a journey with many paths and can choose to stay on the road we are on or we can take the fork in the road that will lead us to places known and unknown making good and right choices along the way!
Here's to living fully and being fully awakened!
Kathryn
Copyright 2006 Awakenings Life Coaching by Kathryn Bonner

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What is your passion

Discover the Passion Within You by Richard Blackstone
The benefit of continued focus on spirituality information is that you are eventually led to the individual passion that lies within you. Part of the process of your spiritual growth is to discover this passion and then bring it forth and live your passion.
Some people are guided to discover their passion early in the human life process. We have all heard of child prodigies who have developed musical skills at a very early age and, along with those skills,5803 Ugg Bailey Button Navy Boots, they have a deep burning desire to develop and demonstrate those skills. That is passion demonstrated.

Well,5838 Ugg Bailey Button Bomber Jacket Chestnut Boots, we all have something like that within us. We all have our own song within us that yearns to be heard and demonstrated. We all have a particular aspect of love that we have chosen before birth that we are being guided by throughout our lives.

What is your passion? There are as many ways to demonstrate love as there are people on the planet. We are like snowflakes,5803 Ugg Bailey Button Grey Boots. From afar we all look just like snow but the closer we examine the snow the more we come to understand that every snowflake has its own unique signature. We all have our particular way to demonstrate that unique aspect of our beingness that can only be manifested in our own unprecedented manner. No two snowflakes are alike. No two passions are exactly the same. There is room in this world for all the snowflakes and there is room in this world for all the passions.

We have our overall purpose in life and we also have a more specific purpose in life. Our overall purpose in life is to just experience the life process, in the physical relative world, in order for God to know, through our experiences, all that she knows of as concepts. That is our mission. That is our way to occupy the space and develop the skills and the capacity to fulfill our larger purpose. This overall purpose is the backdrop on our stage of life upon which we are to develop, nurture and refine our more specific purpose.

We chose our specific purpose before birth,3352 Ugg Bailey Button Mini Black Boots. It is in this inborn privatized mission that we are continually being guided by the omnipresent organizing force that brings to us those people, places and information that we need to develop the specific purpose that we chose before birth.

Let's take a look at the big picture again,If you find yourself engaging in this this kind of dialogue. One of the huge dichotomies that is part of this eternal life process is this simple, yet incredibly complex, concept that we voluntarily forget that we are a spirit child of God before we re-enter the physical universe. When you look at this concept from the bigger picture of life, you can understand how this would be a necessary element to make the whole process work.

If God's purpose were to experience all the different aspects and perspectives of herself that she only knows of conceptually, then she would have to have the true freedom to do that.

Let's look at the alternative to this voluntary amnesia. If we, as spirit children of God, just entered this physical plane via our human birth and were raised and nurtured as pure Gods and Goddesses,UGG 5803, knowing from the very outset of our cognitive stage of life that we are a spirit child of God,whether it is good or something negative., then that is all we would know.

If we already knew, in our consciousness, all there is to know then what is left to experience? We would always make the most correct choices because we would always know the natural consequences of not doing so. We wouldn't be able to choose to be who we are because we would already be who we really are, spirit children of God.

So here's the dichotomy. Even though we would be limitless beings, who know that they are spirit children of God with all of the same powers and abilities and knowledge of God, that very knowingness would actually limit us in our stated purpose of experiencing in the physical plane all that God knows as concepts in the absolute plane.

We wouldn't choose to have the craziness and dramas that develop and define ourselves. We wouldn't chose sickness or death and we therefore would not have those experiences. You see, you can't appreciate the concept of good health without experiencing the concept of poor health.

It is this relationship world of polar opposites that allows us to experience life in all of its different perspectives, from one extreme to the other. If you know all there is to know, including the natural consequences of your actions, then even with free will you wouldn't chose those experiences that would be harmful or not beneficial to your overall good.

That is the beauty of this voluntary amnesia that we agree to when we choose to re-enter the physical relative universe. You still have free will, but now you are totally at choice as to what you choose to experience. Each choice you make still brings you the natural consequence of that choice, whether it is what we term bad or good.
Now it is entirely up to you to determine which natural consequences serve you and which do not serve you. It is your choice. It has always been your choice.

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and the room would expand like a balloon

God Is My Boss
I just figured everyone talked to God.
All my life I could sense there was a world beyond the one I could see with my eyes. I lived in a world of fantasy, and had many conversations with my host of "imaginary" friends. I spent a lot of time alone, and felt more comfortable in the presence of these invisible characters than I did with my friends and family.
I started to lose my hearing at the age of 8, and because I had difficulty hearing what anyone was saying to me, I spent even more time by myself reading, fantasizing and daydreaming.
From there, things got very strange during the night. While I tried to sleep, I would have what seemed like strange experiences of being "trapped" in my body, and the next moment float out of my body, but then I would be "trapped" in the room, and the room would expand like a balloon, and I would expand to cover the whole room but never be able to get out. Sometimes I would travel out of my body, floating outside of it. I found it was easy for me to travel this way. However I still had a feeling of being contained. My parents would find me in my room, talking to someone and ripping off my clothes. Or I would be taking apart the phone and the radio trying to figure out how communication was actually established through these devices. Nothing made any sense to me during that time. I felt this intense need to know certain things. Where did I come from? Why am I here? What is Heaven? I didn't find anybody who could answer my questions!
One morning I woke up and as I came up the stairs, I found my mother sitting on the couch, looking at me in a frightened way.
She asked, "Are you okay?" and I answered "uh-huh." Then she asked me, "Do you remember anything of last night?" and I said "No", because I didn't remember anything. "Well" she then said "You were doing very strange things, and your father and I are very concerned." This particular remark became a turning point at which I stopped having conversations in my mind with God and my imaginary friends. The behaviors and dreams at night also came to an end.
From then I had a normal happy childhood,3352 Ugg Bailey Button Mini Black Boots. I studied, I got good grades, I was well liked. Not surprisingly during high school I developed a wild-streak and always looked for adventure. I was constantly surrounded by friends, and lived entirely in an external world. I drank. I partied. I played sports. I dated. I studied.
In College I pushed things to the extreme, because I was bored. It made no sense to me that I would study as hard as I could, so that I could work as I hard as I could. That I would be able to save up some money to pay bills, go on a few vacations, and eventually retire and die. It made no sense to me, whatsoever. I wanted it all to make more sense than it did. So I partied like crazy. I slept with total strangers. And in my out of control behavior, I gained 60 pounds. I just didn't care. I kept on drinking. I started smoking, taking drugs and kept acting like I was having fun. But really, I couldn't believe I was stuck in this little hellhole called Earth. I just wanted to not be in pain anymore. I wanted to feel alive, to have an adventure, to feel peace and be happy, but I just didn't know how to accomplish these things. And so I lived every day as if it were my last.
One day during the fall of 1988, I knew something had to change in me.
One morning I woke up and found my mother sitting on the couch as I came up the stairs and she was looking at me as if she was completely scared of me.
I was a total mess. I was in a completely impossible situation and the only thing I could think of to do was to get on my knees and ask God for help. I needed a miracle, and knew that on my own I was incapable of accomplishing anything meaningful. Within a month I was in Florida, a whole new environment.
It was a fresh new start. I got accepted into the university. I stopped drinking and smoking and joined a gym. I lost weight. I studied hard and got good grades. I was writing in a journal and communicating with God again. I was happy.
But the difficulty, always, is maintaining a continuing relationship with something you cannot even see with your eyes. I believed in God, but at that time in my life I only turned to Him when I needed help.
As soon as things started getting good, I would forget about God. Before long, I was drinking again and smoking and screwing up all my relationships and constantly worrying and depressed and angry and sad and lonely. I'd have brief moments of happiness and success, but these moments were indeed moments.
Things would get good, and then they would get bad. There was no consistency in my life. There was joy, followed by fear. But I was mostly afraid. On the surface, I had everything: a great relationship, an amazing job, lots of money, great friends, a terrific family but inside I knew I was a total fraud. I knew that my so-called "successful life" was a house of cards, and that if I let down my guard for one second, the whole thing would crumble in an instant. So I became vigilant to be the perfect girlfriend, the perfect employee, the perfect daughter. I worked all the time, never letting myself relax, not even for one second. I was exhausted trying to keep it all going. And then everything fell apart. I felt so exhausted. In order to cope, I was drinking a lot of alcohol and smoking a pack of cigarettes every day.
I was happy again.
And that's when A Course in Miracles dropped into my life. I didn't understand a word it said at first, but deep within me I knew that it was Jesus and that it was the answer to my prayers.
I also knew that if I simply followed the instructions and did the Workbook lessons every day and got into a daily practice of communicating with God, I would be led directly into an experience of only love, that wouldn't go away. What I did not anticipate was the magnitude of my own transformation.
At first I got little glimpses, small miraculous happenings. I suddenly noticed I never got sick anymore. I would wake up happy. I felt hopeful. I came to know moments of total relaxation and peace, and that was the biggest miracle of all.
The turning point for me was July 4, 2000. Things were beginning to get really good in my life, but I knew that I had only scratched the surface of my own awakening to the Peace of God. More than anything, I wanted this to happen now. So I stood in my living room and declared God as my new boss. I had no idea what that meant or what might happen, but I knew that I had to call on forces unseen to get the kind of results I desired.
I knew that writing a letter, responding to an ad, or making phone calls, putting my name on a petition, volunteering or doing good deeds would never compare to leaping into the unknown and trusting that there was a force that would enter fully into my life at my request.
Six days later, on July 10th, I lost my job. That's when I knew the adventure had really begun. I made a decision to spend the next year writing a book about A Course in Miracles. I would use my savings and dedicate my life entirely to God. I had an idea that if I followed the instructions in the workbook exactly as stated without compromise, that I would know the truth.
I had seen many books written by people after they had a transformational experience, but I had never seen a book written during the process. So it was my idea that I'd make a total commitment to God and spend a year doing the workbook lessons and document my own awakening. And that's exactly what I did.
What ended up happening was that as I was approaching the end of that year, I was happier but still experienced moments of depression, worry, confusion and sadness, and I knew that something was still missing. A Course in Miracles promises only love and since that was not my experience after doing all the work I'd done, I figured the book was just another feel-good self-help book and I gave up entirely. I screamed and cried. I felt totally alone. I abandoned all faith in God. I told him I was giving up. He could go to hell. I quit.
It felt like total defeat. I simply did not have the strength to continue on a path that seemed to wind on to nowhere. And now that I'd been out of a job for a year, I figured no one would hire me and I had no money. It was a totally impossible situation. Two days later an angel appeared before my eyes.
At first I thought she was a human being, a well-dressed woman in her Sixties with a strong Dutch accent, but it instantly became apparent to me that she was not from this world. I knew almost immediately she'd been sent in by God to help me. She laughed a lot. Her simple presence filled me with hope and joy, and a complete renewal of my faith in God.
From there, everything sped up really fast. Other angels arrived. Then more. Then more. They said if I wanted to go to Heaven they could bring me there. They said the door was open, that I could leave anytime I wanted to, and all I needed was the desire. So I said yes show me.
That I did NOT anticipate was the magnitude of my own transformation.
I was lifted out of time. I have difficulty describing the experience in words. Everything got really white and bright. My body no longer contained me at all. I was free, I knew I was limitless and eternal, that death was impossible. Overwhelming feelings of peace and joy and happiness enveloped me, and I knew then I was forever safe in God. All time and space disappeared entirely and I knew I wasn't in the world anymore. I could see that there was no space or distance or time, and that all things are joined in perfect Oneness with God.
And then I felt myself being drawn back into my body, but everything was totally different, as if I'd been replaced while I was gone. I suddenly had no desire to drink or smoke. It was a complete transformation. I dropped 50 pounds practically overnight, with no effort at all. Complete awareness of my Identity as God's Son was restored to my awareness. Now I know salvation of my world does depend on me. That all power is given me and there is nothing outside of me and I am responsible for everything I see.
And so now I know that A Course in Miracles truly is a course in MIRACLES. You must have a direct encounter with the light. There's no other way. It's impossible to understand the course alone, without a teacher. The only way to get to a place where you can see that there is only love is by undergoing an experience of rebirth and resurrection. You must wake up in order to know you've been dreaming. Reading and studying the concepts of the course will give you a pleasant experience and occasional glimpses of insight, but it is only by springing into Heaven personally that you will know. You must have an experience, which will show you the truth.
Ask, and you shall receive.
Amen.
It's a real place.

Football Boots

Football Boots
Anybody that plays soccer on a constant basis knows how necessary it can be to wear the perfect clothing and equipment. There are plenty of examples of soccer hardware such as shin pads,3352 Ugg Bailey Button Mini Black Boots, goal keeping gloves and footwear. Two football boots should be a high concern particularly for playing on grass surfaces. A top notch pair of boots will supply a big level of protection and scale back the likelihood of sustaining injury. The planning of modern football boots has occur a excellent distance recently and today's versions glance nothing like the boots of old. During the past, most football boots consisted of a black leather boot. The sole other addition to the boot was the maker's emblem. A giant symbol was identified at the side and a little trademark at the back of the boot. The designs could have been no frills by today's standards but these items were an essential piece of soccer appliances. The most favorite football boot makers were Nike, Adidas and Puma. Advances in bio-acceleration technology have led straight to the search of compressed sports shirts that reduce muscle fatigue of sportsmen and improve muscle performance. To top it all, dazzling advertising campaigns and endorsements by professional football stars add to the hype of footwear. Most makers have announced so long to the old black leather and instead pattern their boots with bright and colourful colors of instead. The planet's top footballers can now be seen sporting indulgent gold or silver boots. There are some things rather odd about seeing professional football players wearing multi colored boots. Rather than staying thought of as a piece of soccer appliances football boots are now a fashion accessory. Sometimes a player can occur in for some feedback if his performance on the pitch doesn't match the standard of his boots. It's not just the visible pattern of football boots which has developed. We have seen football boots that claimed to assist players apply swerve to the ball when shooting at the goal. The materials that are used to build up the footwear are light-weight yet are planned to supply the player with satisfactory defense against injury. Modern football boots aren't to everybody's taste especially older fans who fondly remember the extra conventional examples of footwear.

look for the best place offering one. In terms of the deal that can be descired as being ideal

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Search for the type of boots to buy - This is the only way as you seek how to buy cheap boots that will be able to make sure that the ones that you are buying are well within your budget,3352 Ugg Bailey Button Mini Black Boots. Before going for this step, we can safely assume that you have already set aside a certain budget and then the step that should be taken is simply worrying about the type of shoes that you can secure within that budget. These boots that you land upon at the end of the day should be the ones that will be able to perfectly suit the preferences that you have. The boots that you go for ought to be the ones that can be worn to any kind of condition and thus they will be able to last for quite a long time.
Find for the best place that offer best deals - after searching for the cheap boots to buy, look for the best place offering one. In terms of the deal that can be descired as being ideal, it does not only imply that one should have the best deal but one should also get something that is in the best condition there is. Therefore, when searching for it ensures that the boots offered by the place are made with quality at the same sold at best price. The best way that can guarantee that the deal that you are going for is the very best is only if you will be able to get a retailer, supplier or distributer that is reliable.
Decide - This is the very last step that you ought to take care of. This is the hardest part because with this, you need to be very sure that your decision is correct and will let you feel satisfied after closing the deal and paying for the payment. But given that you have already gone through the above process, this part should not really prove to be that tasking.
Once you have followed the above details to the letter, you will not only be able to get the boots that you want but also have the best deals as well.

I believe the chances are very high that you answered positively to at least one of those questions.

I'm a Salesperson? by Kevin Eikenberry
I have found that the words sales, selling and salesperson always have feelings attached to them. Some of you are reading, pondering the title of this article and thinking a stream of positive thoughts about selling, things like:
Nothing happens until a sale is made or someone sells something.
Sales is the engine of a capitalist economy,if you are yearning to only buy sheepskin boots.
Others are reading thinking a stream of extremely different thoughts:
I'm not in sales, I'm a .
If I wanted to be in sales, I'd be selling used cars, insurance, or spending my whole day on the telephone.
The last thing I want is someone selling me something.
So I write on, knowing that people have very different perspectives on this profession and activity.
For those of you in the first camp, hang with me for a second. For those of you with some amount of distain for sales, or even the slightest resistance to the idea that you might be a salesperson, let me ask you a couple of questions:
Does any part of your daily work/life involve communicating your ideas to others?
Do you ever find yourself trying to influence or persuade others?
Do you ever wish, hope or try to encourage change within an organization or with others?
I believe the chances are very high that you answered positively to at least one of those questions.
And if you did, you are in sales.
I know you may not be selling a product or service, but you are selling yourself,3352 Ugg Bailey Button Mini Black Boots, your ideas and solutions, and perhaps a vision of a better future for yourself and others.
Truly professional salespeople will see their jobs as doing those same things, even if they are also helping people buy a particular product or service.
Since you are still reading, hopefully you can see some positive connection between what you do and the skills and practices of an effective salesperson. What follows are five particular reasons why we are all in sales, and how you can learn from the best salespeople, regardless of your role.
Communicating effectively. Good salespeople are more than glib or good at telling a joke. They hone the craft of connecting and communicating with others through their words, actions, and thoughts.
Asking questions. One reason the best salespeople are such good communicators is that they are masters of asking questions. They know that the right question can be the way to learn more, to understand the other person's perspective more completely, and to set the stage for the next two skills.
Being persuasive. Salespeople hope to persuade us to buy something. If you don't sell products, you may be trying to persuade people to do a task, go to a certain restaurant, play a certain game or any of a hundred other things each day. The best salespeople persuade knowing that their product or service will serve, delight and/or improve the lives of those they are persuading. You are hopefully doing the same thing expecting others will learn something from the task, enjoy the restaurant or the game. There is a difference between persuasion (where everyone benefits) and manipulation (where only the "seller" wins).
Being influential. Influence seems to follow persuasion, often like the next logical step. Once you have been persuasive and the other person found value from that situation, they likely will come back to you since trust has been built. Now you are more influential, potentially on a broader range of topics, than you were before.
Championing change. Persuasion and influence both are about change changing minds, habits, behaviors, etc. Great salespeople understand that change is sometimes hard so they help others with that process. As you understand change and resistance more, you are better able to help others see the world differently, make new choices and do new things.
Looking at these five skills and behaviors it is easy to see how this helps anyone who is a manager or leader, works with others in any capacity, is a parent or is in any type of relationship at all. In other words all of us are salespeople and all of us can become more successful if we learn and practice the skills of great salespeople.
Think about these five skills and find a great salesperson to watch and learn from. The skills that you will learn will benefit you today and for the rest of your life.
Potential Pointer: When we succeed as communicators we have the ability to influence, persuade and hopefully help others. This means, almost by definition,2 to 4 inches high, that all of us are salespeople and so all of us can learn from the best sales people. Observe, practice and succeed!

and other famous Nike football boots include Nike Tiempo Legend

The latest Nike football boots line,No matter what city you travel to or even what the weather is outside
Nike football boots are one of the best brands in the world. Their signature shoe is the Nike Mercurial Vapor, and other famous Nike football boots include Nike Tiempo Legend, Nike Total 90 Laser and Nike CTR360 Maestri football boots. These shoes are worn by international players of high acclaim across the world. Here are some of the current Nike football boots available,notice the difference in punctuation there. Nike Tiempo Legend III football boots This boot is derived from the classic Nike Tiempo range which was released in the early 90's. Back then, it was worn by first generation Premier League stars such as Eric Cantona and Ian Wright,3352 Ugg Bailey Button Mini Black Boots. The Tiempo Legend boots are the least technical out of the Nike football boots line. Nike Mercurial Vapor Superfly II football boots Debuted by Brazil's Ronaldo and now worn by Cristiano Ronaldo of Portugal, the Mercurial Vapor line is truly one of the greatest masterpieces of footwork created. It was the first ever football boot to be designed with a focus on being lightweight, thus giving the player speed and agility over their opponents,What are high quality boots. This was done by using a synthetic upper to reduce weight, whilst simulating the properties of natural leather. Now, the Mercurial has advanced to the Mercurial Vapor Superfly II, with improvements in technology - giving the player a stronger fit, superior traction, improved balance and quicker cuts in any direction. The CR Mercurial Vapor Superfly II was designed exclusively for Cristiano Ronaldo and features an all over leopard print for improved visibility on the pitch.